This week we are delving into the heavy things that need to be processed and resolved. It is important to validate how you feel, why you feel that way (what story you’re telling yourself to justify your feelings), and how that feeling has impacted your life over time. You aren’t the same person you would have been without the hard things you experienced. These pivotal moments forced you to accommodate them with whatever tools you had. I’m talking about negative and destructive patterns that scattered your energy.

When you desire to do things differently, to get better results, the old habits come into the spotlight. This revealing process is designed to show you the next step in your healing process. Any shame or guilt you experience is merely a symptom of how you were taught.

The fact is that you came to this life with full permission to figure it out blindly. That includes making mistakes. The impact of action does have incredible value, and is worth rectifying. But intention makes the difference between an action that continues to harm and the same action that is useful for growth. Those who know better and do better the next time are different from those who do the same thing after knowing better. Both feel guilt and shame.

Guilt and shame are not actually motivators in themselves. Guilt is internal, while shame is external. Shame teaches us that if we want to be accepted by others, we must do something acceptable to others. Guilt teaches us that if we want to be accepted by ourselves, we must do something acceptable to ourselves. These feelings are valuable in showing us the values of our society.

But guilt and shame are too heavy to carry long-term. They are roadblocks. Imagine you are rolling a round stone up a mountain. Each step is an action geared towards getting that stone to the top. Someone places shame between you and the top, which stops the roll. You can choose to remove the block, go around it, go over it, or stop rolling the stone altogether.

If someone shames you for pursuing your career, for instance, you can listen to them and stop going that direction, or you can get them out of your path. If you feel guilty for neglecting another aspect of your life in response to their shame, maybe it would be useful to figure out a different work-life balance, and then continue in a way that is smarter and easier. The right action is the one that aligns with your highest good, regardless of what other people think that is.

If all this heavy stuff is feeling overwhelming or frustrating, remember what you started out wanting. These dreams you dreamed were made from your deepest desire, which came from your highest self. They are worth pursuing sensibly so that you have the endurance necessary to finish the process.

You have a period of huge growth ahead of you, should you choose it. This growth will give you wonderful abundance and joy, because it will allow you to change how (or whether) you roll your stone.

No matter the source of the course correction, choose to take it as a valuable tool. A great mantra: “Yes, some of this is true.” It may only be a fraction of a percent of what you’re being told, but that fraction is enough to be valuable anyway.

Also remember that spite is a two-edged sword. It’s okay to live in spite of a condition. It’s okay to exist simply out of spite until you reconnect with your true desire. Once you get more hope and more peace, let the spite go in equal measure. Spite is a way to enforce a needed boundary, but it’s not the only method. Your feelings are information.

Your dreams were made in joy, and sometimes people get jealous or angry when you live joyously. Your goal is to let them have their drama and figure out their own shit, far away from you and your joy.

So cut through the shame and the guilt, and correct your course, however it works best for you. You deserve joy.