Month: March 2024

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Collective Reading March 24-30: The Key Is Within You

The theme of this week is personal empowerment. You have been accustomed to being limited and powerless. As people, we like to think that those who seek to control others are the only ones who crave that dynamic. When control is predictable, those under oppression tend to cling to it. After all, no one wants to go from the frying pan to the fire. No one wants to experience it “getting worse.” And so you let fear control your actions, and when control crumbles, you feel more fear.

Being “good” has been tied to being safe, while unpredictability has been associated with unspeakable horrors. There is no room for living outside the expected norms when doing so causes (more visible) punishment. However, the idea that being controlled is better than being free is an illusion, and couldn’t be further from the truth.

You asked for positive change in your life. You asked for freedom. Not fleeting ups to balance out the downs, but consistent and successive wins. And the Universe said yes.

It is natural to feel afraid or uncertain in this stage of growth. That doesn’t mean you are making a mistake.

It feels risky to put yourself out there and ask for the Universe to meet you halfway, but it is even more damaging not to. Your people, your place, and your possessions are waiting for you, so focus on being there for them to meet you. What shows up is what you are ready for. If you want something more, get ready for it inside yourself. What is yours is waiting on you.

The fact is that you are strong, powerful, wise, and capable. You can create whatever you truly want–and believe you deserve. The biggest thing holding you back now is your fear of seeing things as they are. When you accept what is, you put yourself in a position to influence the outcome. This relationship to reality is one of mutual influence. You can’t get to the top of the stairs if you don’t know where the steps are.

If you don’t have answers or solutions yet, get back to being present with yourself. All the answers are within you. Trust that they are perfect for you.

Remember that it is a very brave thing to come here to Earth with the intent to grow and transform yourself. The evolution of your soul is a huge undertaking. The work you do here is your sacrifice to the collective, and requires no further payment from you in order to gain adequate support. You deserve support just for being here.

You are the one who gets to choose your destiny. Get real with what you want and deserve, and take steps to get it. The key is within you.

Thank you for following along! These collective readings are channeled from Source to provide support, inspiration, and insight. To get these readings delivered to your inbox every week, subscribe here. If you would like a personal Tarot reading or energy session to help you shift out of fear and into freedom, you can book here.

Have a great week!

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Intuitive-Tarot Reading

Collective Reading March 17-23: Keep Shifting

When a situation or problem seems impossible to move through, you are called upon to settle yourself. No clear way forward means you have not accepted the reality of what is. This is your first step.

I’m seeing a lot of cooperation, network, and collaboration in this reading, which means that your way forward is through connecting with others.

In order to have good relationships with others you must be available as a healed, balanced person. Unhealed parts stuck in trauma will bring more of the same relationship drama, so you need to wipe the slate.

Your trauma was created in relationship, therefore the healing must happen in relationship. This process is designed to push you out of victim mentality and into healthy self-empowerment, but it often feels like your kryptonite. Know that you are powerful enough for this healing.

I am reminded of the joke about when God created the Earth and humans to live on it, and after a while, Eve comes to him with a problem to solve. God, being this self-absorbed father figure, is pleased to have an opportunity to offer her something big and showy. Eve asks for equality in pay and rights, and for social justice. And God says no, that’s too big, and offers her a unicorn instead.

When we ask for justice from oppressive overlords who designed a system to be unequal, we have one of two options for how that goes: either they will offer something that makes them feel good about themselves, or they will flat-out deny the request and make the asker feel bad for even thinking of it. To get what you want, you would have to trick them into giving it to you against their broader design.

God in the joke is a deity made in the image of the oppressor, and not a reflection of a true creator-god.

Your big healing task this week is to de-deify the power structure that has kept you feeling like you’re asking for too much. Come back into your claim to equal rights. Come back into your ability to interface with people in a fair and balanced way that meets everyone’s needs. There truly is no natural injustice; inequality is not sanctioned by whatever gods created you, and you should never feel guilty for needing and receiving what you need. Stop settling for crumbs.

Understand that when you are in the process of negotiating with an unfair power structure, you will sometimes have to take the best deal on offer while you work toward better. But that is only a stop-gap until you are able to get more.

Be patient, and work on your inner belief in what you truly deserve while the manifestation of your previous belief plays out. The night must shift into daylight when you are moving yourself toward the Sun, but you may still need to take several steps through the darkness to get there.

You are meant to thrive regardless of what is going on outside of you. You are resilient, like a dandelion growing in the crack of the sidewalk. However gradual the shift, or however major, keep shifting, knowing that it will happen as you are ready for it. Do your inner work to be ready.

You will know you are ready when something good happens and you can say, “Yes! I deserve this.” Recognize what good is showing up for you and you will have less resistance to receiving it. If there is resistance to receiving it, be patient and observe it until you find the release.

You deserve to thrive. Keep shifting.

Did this resonate? Let me know in the comments. I post my weekly readings here and send them out through my email subscription once a week. Bookmark this page, or sign up for my emails to stay informed. Have a great week!

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Energy Healing Energy-Integrative Massage

Throat Chakra Healing and Neck Tension

Woman receiving neck massage. Photo by cottonbro studio

I found myself crying this morning, and it got me thinking about what a privilege it is to be able to cry in peace.

There is an expectation when you start HRT for gender transition that taking T will prevent being able to cry. This is not a universal experience, and generally reported as temporary. I would like to share my experience with this phenomenon.

When I considered starting T, I was informed that it would enlarge my vocal cords permanently. This would change my singing voice, as I would no longer be able to access the higher registers in the same way, if at all, but it would also open up my lower register. Vocal training was an option on the table, but so was doing nothing and just allowing my body to adjust. I half joke that I was a professional singer as a child. I auditioned and got into a local singing group starting in early elementary school, participated in the Jazz festival in high school, and contemplated going pro in college, but ultimately felt like it wasn’t right for me. I sang in church every week and performed on stage, as you do in the culture I grew up in. I took voice lessons from two different teachers outside of choir practice and was generally acknowledged to be talented. Once I felt I had learned enough soprano, I moved to alto and worked into the lowest registers I could reach. I love singing.

All that being said, I decided that the risk of discomfort and permanent changes to my voice was worth the benefits, and that if I needed help, I could get it.

As my body changed, my vocal cords thickened, causing my throat to feel tighter and protrude slightly. It was amazing to be able to use a vocal range that I’d always had in my head, but never was able to replicate in real life. It felt so nice to finally feel like my body was the way it should be in many aspects. But the tension of parts developing without the growth of the tissues surrounding them gradually started causing problems.

I had more headaches. When I felt deep emotions, I would get that “lump in my throat” sensation, which would just sit there blocking everything for days. More interesting to me is the fact that, while my throat chakra had been pretty blocked previously, the blocks were shifting. Self-expression in the form of showing up transmasc, among other things (pursuing a career is a major throat chakra thing), allowed me greater latitude to express myself, but it also brought to the forefront throat chakra issues that tied directly to physical blocks.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have access to my feelings; I’ve always been a deep feeler. But I couldn’t cry. It would start up, get stuck, and then not go anywhere. I was frustrated, and a bit bewildered. So, being a massage therapist, and believing in the power of massage, I booked myself a massage session with a trusted practitioner who also works with energy.

There is a connection between the physical body and the emotional body. When my practitioner began loosening up the tissue surrounding the vocal cords, I went into deep processing and was finally able to have an emotional release. Not only that, the headaches from pent up feelings and chronic tension in my neck improved, and my spine has stayed in alignment better.

Along with regular self-care and self-treatments, I have had repeat sessions with people who can hold that space with me from time to time. It is harder holding it by myself, and I need a couple days after the work to really process through what gets released. I have found significant improvement in my vocal range, physical comfort, and self-expression. I am actually more well-connected to my emotional expression now than I was before starting T, because it catalyzed and supports the real-world changes I’ve needed to make to be healthy. Writing and speaking about not only how I feel but also the work I do has always been kind of scary. It’s a process, learning to show up as me and do the work I’m here to do, as I grew up being pushed into a very small box. This is all part of healing my throat chakra.

Note that energy work will prompt changes in your life, so if you’re ready to finally break free of restrictions and start living authentically, this work can be a key resource. If you are going through physical symptoms of throat chakra blockage, I would highly recommend energy-integrated massage to address the issue. And of course, you don’t have to be trans or on hormones to clear and balance your throat chakra. We all have throat chakras, and they all need support.

You can book a session here. If you would like to receive a discounted rate through my Pay It Forward fund, please do not book on my website. Email insight.with.el@gmail.com or text 385-465-5569.

Happy Healing!

Categories
Energy Healing Intuitive-Tarot Reading

Collective Reading March 10-16: The Gardener

Your trust in the process of life is being put to the test this week. You may have seen the start of this last week, which may have thrown you into darker corners of your psyche, unhealed parts that are hurting. Know that every time you spiral into the dark with higher consciousness, you are blazing a trail of light to break up dysfunctional patterns in your energy.

If you believe that difficulty is the beginning of failure, then you will choose realities that reinforce that belief. If you believe that difficulty is the beginning of solving a problem that is ready to be healed, then you will have more trust in your own intuition, trust in your ability to handle whatever comes, and trust in the process of healing. Your mindset is the script for the plot. Better to play out a comedy than a tragedy.

The difference between a literary comedy and a literary tragedy lies in the ending. Both have seemingly catastrophic events in the plot leading up to the climax. The stakes feel high in both. Shakespeare’s comedies typically end in mass weddings. During that time period, they were a ritual of celebration that would bring together the whole community in love and cooperation. The end of your comedy revolves around harmony and union, as well. This could show up in making peace with your own shadow, or finding place in a community of people.

In a way, the stakes of your life are high, but it isn’t nearly as big as it seems when you look at the overall picture of your soul journey. You have been trying to find harmony and love the whole time, and for better or worse, this is the path to it. Trust the process. You’ve got this. Your team is here supporting you. It’s truly so much more doable than it feels. Lighten up on the reins and go back to trust when you find yourself feeling lost. If you don’t know what to do, or you have nothing to do, be still. You really can’t mess this up nearly as much as you think you can.

This knowledge might spark a series of actions testing just how far you can go to mess up your life, but if you stop, step back, and release the idea of failure, the positive energy you have already accumulated will turn your boat around again. Love is the antidote to the disquiet you’re feeling.

You are the Gardener, and this is your Garden. Allow the structure and materials you have gathered organize around you and create the life you want. To give you a clearer picture, the wheel of the card spread describes the steps:

First comes the idea of what you want, then the nonjudgmental observation of what is. Once you have identified a problem, you have the opportunity to come into acceptance and unconditional love. When you are in that space, you may till the earth. After tilling and preparing the soil comes sowing the seeds, then watering. Allow the wind to blow and the Sun to shine and the weather to change as the husk of the seeds decomposes in the damp soil. Wait. The seeds will sprout with nurturing.

After they sprout, regular care allows them to continue to grow. Weed out the plants that you don’t want and strengthen the ones you do. When mature, your garden is ready to harvest.

This is the structure. It encompasses both masculine and feminine energy in its cycles of growth and decline. It requires unconditional love, patience, empowerment, hope, discernment, and acceptance of what is. And at the end, you see the fruits of your labors and have a whole season’s worth of stories, experiences, and satisfaction.

Your life is the Garden, and you are the Gardener. You deserve this creative power and everything that comes with it. Enjoy it all.

Did this resonate? I post my weekly collective readings here and send them out to subscribers. If you would like to join my email list, click here.

Do you need a personal reading or energy session? Book me on my website.

Thanks for reading, and have a great week!

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Uncategorized

Collective Reading March 3-9: Sacrifice Expectations and Be Persistent

Five major arcana in this spread point to some major changes happening. This is part of the path you’re on, and therefore, it is necessary to experience it. If you have recently gone through something traumatic, you may be processing old patterns and old hurts now so that you can reach for better tools going forward.

Because this experience is necessary, it is also doable. Lean on your support network. Reach out before it gets dire. You have learned through other intense periods that it is better to anticipate and plan for your needs than to find yourself stranded on a desert highway with an empty gas tank and a dead phone battery. You survived it before, yes, but it wasn’t pretty.

Maybe you’re not in crisis when you first start thinking of reaching out. Don’t deny yourself the help you know you need. Getting support at the first sign of trouble will keep it from getting bad. Denying yourself help early before was a self-punishment, a replay of neglect you experienced. You thought that since someone else didn’t take it seriously, your needs weren’t serious. You beat yourself up for needing and not getting. You know better now.

You know that you deserve grace, love, and community. You know that you are deeply and irrevocably loved–and worthy. You also know that sometimes a problem seems bigger than it is when you are too afraid to face it head-on. You can get through anything, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Avoid the big issues by attacking them when they are small.

If you are afraid of people letting you down, consider this: the Universe brings you what you need always, but you only accept what you think you deserve. And if the answer is no from one person, that’s a redirection to something better. Keep trying. Keep being optimistic about things happening at the right time, with the right people. Your insistence and patience in pursuit of what you need is proof that you are handling this better, and having more hope than before.

Regardless of how you respond, your response is evidence of where you’re at in your path. Any deficit is merely information on how far you are, like a point on a map. The end is the same, you are the same amazing person who is going to cross that finish line and succeed. It is okay to be frustrated or mess up. Everyone starts at the beginning and ends at the end.

You always have what you truly need available to you. It only seems like you don’t because you didn’t get what you wanted in the exact way you imagined it. Let go of what you think it should be, and embrace what is, knowing that there is always a perfect solution. You are capable of everything you need to do.

Did this resonate? I read weekly for my collective and post them here, as well as send them out in my weekly emails. Sign up for my mailing list here. Have a great week!