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Collective Reading July 28-August 3: Power in the Higher Self

This week we renegotiate our relationship with our own empowerment. From our Higher Self comes the call to remember who we are, and remember how powerful we are.

One of Fire/Wands is supported by One of Earth/Pentacles. This means potential for material gain as we continue exercising our personal power in the way that is aligned with our Highest Self.

Be aware that your intention energy is the key to really settling into your success. Your manifestations, or the things that show up in response to your energy output, are tools to purify your intentions.

If nothing that happened in this world mattered in the long term, what kinds of mistakes would you make as you fail forward?

I know that you are trying to make every effort a well thought out and successful one, but the truth is that perfect is the enemy of done, and getting feedback is the single fastest way to have the knowledge you need. There is a solution built in to every problem, and mistakes aren’t going to last the same way they did before.

Call upon your Higher Self, your guides, the Universe of Light, or whatever higher power you feel trust in this week. Ask for them to smooth the path before you, resolve things you cannot fix, correct you gently when you are wrong, and otherwise support you.

The Emperor is all about personal empowerment, so start naming the ways in which you are empowered. This brings your attention to a productive line of thought and calls more of it to you.

You’re going to want to rethink what you can give and receive. Are you feeling generous or people-pleasing? Are you feeling stingy or scared of running out? Identify fear-based decisions and step into courageous amd logical decisions. Be solution-oriented, affirming of your efforts and successes (and those of others), and keep moving forward in enjoyment and gratitude.

Obviously, this isn’t a time to throw wisdom away. 5 of Earth reminds you that wise generosity will put everything into order, whereas impulsivity causes stressful moments afterward which then block the flow of abundance. You have to keep pedaling the bike in order for the momentum to keep building, so if the answer is “not yet,” honor that. The pieces of the puzzle are more moveable than you can see at first. Connect them clearly, like the lines between the stars in the rectangle, and you will find that they make a thorough and easy to follow path.

Remember that there are helpful elements you cannot see, as the fifth star above the other four shows in Five of Earth. As above, so below. Do your own work, and ask for and allow your community to do theirs. It all adds up. Two of Water emphasizes the give and take of reciprocal relationships built on good will and generosity. Don’t write negative scripts for people that gunk up their ability to show up, just because you’ve been burned before. The people who are your people just want to show up and do their thing in peace. Let them, and then identify and express gratitude for it. Doing so will confirm your hunches about people, or give you new info that you can use going forward. There is no loss in this.

Lastly, have a great week, trusting that everything is working out for you in exactly the way you need, even if you can’t see how yet.

With love,

-Elihu John

If you would like 1:1 support through this theme of empowerment, I invite you to book an energy session with me. These sessions can clear mountains of work and leave you feeling refreshed and settled.

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Energy Healing Energy-Integrative Massage

Throat Chakra Healing and Neck Tension

Woman receiving neck massage. Photo by cottonbro studio

I found myself crying this morning, and it got me thinking about what a privilege it is to be able to cry in peace.

There is an expectation when you start HRT for gender transition that taking T will prevent being able to cry. This is not a universal experience, and generally reported as temporary. I would like to share my experience with this phenomenon.

When I considered starting T, I was informed that it would enlarge my vocal cords permanently. This would change my singing voice, as I would no longer be able to access the higher registers in the same way, if at all, but it would also open up my lower register. Vocal training was an option on the table, but so was doing nothing and just allowing my body to adjust. I half joke that I was a professional singer as a child. I auditioned and got into a local singing group starting in early elementary school, participated in the Jazz festival in high school, and contemplated going pro in college, but ultimately felt like it wasn’t right for me. I sang in church every week and performed on stage, as you do in the culture I grew up in. I took voice lessons from two different teachers outside of choir practice and was generally acknowledged to be talented. Once I felt I had learned enough soprano, I moved to alto and worked into the lowest registers I could reach. I love singing.

All that being said, I decided that the risk of discomfort and permanent changes to my voice was worth the benefits, and that if I needed help, I could get it.

As my body changed, my vocal cords thickened, causing my throat to feel tighter and protrude slightly. It was amazing to be able to use a vocal range that I’d always had in my head, but never was able to replicate in real life. It felt so nice to finally feel like my body was the way it should be in many aspects. But the tension of parts developing without the growth of the tissues surrounding them gradually started causing problems.

I had more headaches. When I felt deep emotions, I would get that “lump in my throat” sensation, which would just sit there blocking everything for days. More interesting to me is the fact that, while my throat chakra had been pretty blocked previously, the blocks were shifting. Self-expression in the form of showing up transmasc, among other things (pursuing a career is a major throat chakra thing), allowed me greater latitude to express myself, but it also brought to the forefront throat chakra issues that tied directly to physical blocks.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have access to my feelings; I’ve always been a deep feeler. But I couldn’t cry. It would start up, get stuck, and then not go anywhere. I was frustrated, and a bit bewildered. So, being a massage therapist, and believing in the power of massage, I booked myself a massage session with a trusted practitioner who also works with energy.

There is a connection between the physical body and the emotional body. When my practitioner began loosening up the tissue surrounding the vocal cords, I went into deep processing and was finally able to have an emotional release. Not only that, the headaches from pent up feelings and chronic tension in my neck improved, and my spine has stayed in alignment better.

Along with regular self-care and self-treatments, I have had repeat sessions with people who can hold that space with me from time to time. It is harder holding it by myself, and I need a couple days after the work to really process through what gets released. I have found significant improvement in my vocal range, physical comfort, and self-expression. I am actually more well-connected to my emotional expression now than I was before starting T, because it catalyzed and supports the real-world changes I’ve needed to make to be healthy. Writing and speaking about not only how I feel but also the work I do has always been kind of scary. It’s a process, learning to show up as me and do the work I’m here to do, as I grew up being pushed into a very small box. This is all part of healing my throat chakra.

Note that energy work will prompt changes in your life, so if you’re ready to finally break free of restrictions and start living authentically, this work can be a key resource. If you are going through physical symptoms of throat chakra blockage, I would highly recommend energy-integrated massage to address the issue. And of course, you don’t have to be trans or on hormones to clear and balance your throat chakra. We all have throat chakras, and they all need support.

You can book a session here. If you would like to receive a discounted rate through my Pay It Forward fund, please do not book on my website. Email insight.with.el@gmail.com or text 385-465-5569.

Happy Healing!

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Energy Healing Energy-Integrative Massage Intuitive-Tarot Reading

Collective Reading February 25-March 2: Play Your Part

Your ability to truly connect with others in good faith will be a highlight of this week. “My heart will love again,” is what I’m hearing. But what about your sacral? What about the roots you choose to put down now, knowing the sting of having them severed before? Expanding again takes courage, faith, and reliance on your intuition. You must learn how to trust yourself, take reasonable risks (involving deliberate use of all your faculties together), and be alright with whatever the outcome. Head, heart, eyes, and felt sense (among others) come together to give you a fuller picture.

When we experience a massive disappointment or betrayal, it isn’t the moment it happened that matters. It’s the endless time we spend afterward abusing ourselves, thinking every detail through and fitting them into a false narrative centered around how we went wrong.

Sometimes we encounter darkness simply because it is passing by. In a world of collisions and meetings, curiosity and contrast, we are bound to happen upon something we don’t like from time to time. Not everything we see is something we have to entertain. Sometimes we can let it pass through without resistance and say, “Wow, I am nothing like that. This is good information.”

It’s okay to study things we don’t understand, so long as it stays in its place. When we start to wonder whether we are the thing we saw, it becomes a problem. Your job is to stay connected to yourself and allow everything that is not you to provide the backdrop for who you are. You are not to explain yourself. You are to be seen shining. This is not pride but true humility.

The opposite of narcissism is echoism. Both are unbalanced extremes. Do not hide from the spotlight when it comes around. Stand where you’re supposed to and allow the light to go wherever it will, whether that is on you or not. “All the world’s a stage, and the people on it merely players.” Be your best self, and don’t worry about the parts of other players. You can’t speak everyone’s lines, and yours are irreplaceable. So, too, your role is uniquely made for you, and no one can play it better.

True versatility on this world stage means not depending on the position of the spotlight to maintain your position. No one is center stage all the time, and no one is in the wings all the time. We all move together as one cast, playing our separate parts.

The dark will be dark, and the light will be light. You can interact with all of it, trusting that what you see is accurate enough. Trust your judgment, learn gently from mistakes, and treat everyone accordingly. In this way, you can trust and love again, this time even better.

You were never wrong for having experienced contrast. You are here to explore everything and anything that contributes to your ultimate highest good. It will all end well; enjoy the play while it lasts.

Did this resonate? I post readings for my collective here and send them out to my subscribers every week. I also offer personal readings, energy work, and massage to help you navigate your life journey and healing. Check out my scheduling page to book.

Have a great week, everyone!

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Energy-Integrative Massage Intuitive-Tarot Reading

Collective Reading January 21-27: Open The Door

Before now, your interactions with others were dependent on them being a certain way or acting a certain way. More often than not, now, you are interacting based on how you are. This is because when you are centered in your Authentic Self, the vibration you carry outweighs the vibrations of those who aren’t centered. They could be experiencing the situation in an entirely different reality, and you are still allowed to experience it your way.

I’m seeing a total reversal of what some call “codependency,” and it looks good on you. It looks like empowerment, choosing happiness, and getting what you actually want. Nevermind the path to it, or how things look while you work. You are keeping your eyes on the prize, steadying yourself, and finding that your feet stay solidly planted as you reach heavenward.

There is no peace like the one found in stability. It truly does not matter what other people do. You will find others who match your vibration, and they will outpace the influence of the people and places you have either left behind or had taken from you. Let them go, knowing that you have better things waiting for you. In the meantime, you always have yourself.

Usually we hear the platitude, “When one door closes, another opens,” but this time the message is, “When a door opens, the others must close.” Your choices in what you open for yourself preclude the possibility of any other outcome. Make your desires so big in your view that nothing else can gain your attention.

At the same time, be willing to let the outcome change. Once you have named your desire, let go of getting it and focus on the feeling you desire. Then, live in that feeling and allow your world to shift to match it. You cannot feel success and experience failure, and vice versa. Eventually, they have to match up.

So let yourself feel successful regardless of what happens. Let yourself find relief, gratitude, positivity, humor, joy. It doesn’t matter how you find it or what happens. What matters most is the fact that you are happy inside.

Like with a labyrinth, the way out is the way in. We have wound ourselves into the middle of it already. Now all we have to do is unwind ourselves and we will find that we are out where we can breathe again. It’s easy to get there when we offer no resistance, no attachment, no fear. The image I’m getting is that either you can cling to the walls and slow your journey out, or you can keep your hands in and never touch the walls at all.

And if you find yourself experiencing the opposite of what you want, let it be the invitation you need to go inward. There is no problem so big that getting still and breathing won’t help it. You don’t have to white-knuckle the drive. Just keep breathing and keep moving forward. You will get there when you are ready. So open the door you want. It will happen when you are able to receive it.

Need a little extra help letting go of resistance? Book a session of energy, Tarot, or massage today and start feeling better.

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Energy-Integrative Massage Intuitive-Tarot Reading

Collective Reading December 24-30: Accumulate Success

The image coming up is that of the mythical Labyrinth of King Minos, and Theseus going into the center to slay the Minotaur. You have journeyed into your own labyrinth, facing dark and twisting corridors filled with horrors, and now that you have slain the Minotaur and prevented others from falling victim to it, you doubt your path out.

Any attempts to remain grounded have been met with your fear of what has already happened. Is it still present? Will it happen again? How will you survive it repeating? To which the Universe is saying, “You have already gotten rid of the root problem.” Yes, there are battles to be fought and won still, but let’s look at what you have going for you in all this.

Theseus made his way out of the Labyrinth using a magical ball of string. Your ball of string is the golden thread of abundance that has always been with you. Even in your darkest hour. Stop justifying your fears with all the evidence of the bad things. When you feel badly, your mind wants to fill in the details with reasons as to why. To start feeling good, retell the story of the hard times, using all the good things that happened. Keep practicing gratitude. The fact is that even when you have been at your worst, there has ALWAYS been something to be grateful for. And the Universe has said this a million times if it has said it once: there is a golden thread of good fortune through every experience and every awful thing you remember. The mere fact of your existence now is proof that you have had enough to survive up to this point, and not only that, you have gained. You took this journey for a reason, and that reason was enough to justify the hard parts. Trust that it is more than worth it. But also, you feel bad now because you have needs and wants to attend to. How can you go about doing so?

It’s okay to want something so badly that you eat, sleep, and breathe that desire. Just be sure to check in with why you want it. Let’s illustrate with an example. If you want financial security in order to feel loved, maybe what you want is two-fold, and maybe you’re starting at the wrong end. Somehow, feeling unloved became entangled with feeling financially insecure. Now that you’ve tasted financial security, which you have busted your butt to get (I see you, you amazing human), you’re finding that it doesn’t hold the core of your desire for emotional security. And you may be wondering why you’re unsatisfied still.

Wanting financial security isn’t wrong; it’s part of your birthright. Keep it going, and start adding emotional security to it. You have taken care of yourself when others would not, and you’ve done a better job than they ever did. This is a form of emotional security you have given yourself, in that you promised yourself something and followed through on it. Give yourself credit. Celebrate your win, even in a small and quiet way, alone. A helpful mantra: “I am enough for myself.”

The greatest thing you can do to attract people who will love you the way you need it is to hold that love for yourself and choose to see and accept it as enough–for now. Then pursue meeting this need more, in a way that makes sense, not out of desperation but from a place of confidence, knowing that you have met the surface need fantastically well. Why not add to the accomplishments you already achieved? Why not continue to accumulate good things, since you have already started?

The bottom line is this: you didn’t know what you needed underneath the first need that you met, and now you do, and it scares you to think that it can’t happen. But the only reason you haven’t met it yet is because you didn’t see it clearly. You know more now, and that changes everything. Trust yourself to get more of what you need. It’s going to be more than okay.

Now go be fabulous, and have a great week!

Did this resonate? I post my weekly readings here on my blog and send them out to my subscribers. Feel free to browse through previous posts.

Still need something? Book a personal Tarot Reading, Home Clearing, Energy Session, or Energy-Integrated Massage here.

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Intuitive-Tarot Reading

Collective Reading December 10-16: Too Little, Too Soon

Wow! Lots of turning points, beginnings, and connections this week. Here’s your reminder that you are right on time.

It’s no wonder you’re tired lately. You’re moving energy and participating in global changes on the most powerful level possible: individually.

The most effective way to change the world is to change your own frequency, your own baseline. This is happening in the wake of having observed someone, or many someones, say they would change… and simply not doing it. I’m seeing you on the outside, perhaps watching people get divorced, and the one parent seemed to have some control when they demanded change. But you knew it was all external, and not integrated into the real issue. I’m hearing “Too little, too soon.” Not too late, but too soon.

Both parties were in need of some big overhaul, but chose to focus on the problems they saw in each other instead. So nothing really changed.

How permanent are the changes you have seen others try to make when times got tough? You watched them start to feel the consequences of their actions, and only then resolve to “be better” so they wouldn’t lose what they seemed to have. Then, when the panic subsuded, they stopped trying and settled back into their previous habit energy. What a disappointment.

None of this memory is actually about you. And yet, all of it is about you, for the things you witnessed both defined your ideas about how people can or cannot grow, and are defined by your intuitive belief systems and temperament. They were the mirror for what can happen, and therefore the way you think about yourself is intertwined with what you saw and vice versa.

You have a great capacity for growth, beyond what many people allow themselves to experience. Just because you saw others fail to change when things got bad doesn’t mean you will turn out like them. You are on your own path. You are your own person. And the reason they failed was because they only moved when external forces seemed greater than their internal will. In reality, they had a more powerful will to do what they truly wanted. So do you.

If you really want to change and grow, not because of anything outside of yourself (although outside pressure can be a helpful catalyst) you will find a way. If you want to stay stagnant, no storm outside will ever change that.

Figure out what you really want, and who you really are when you are in your highest self. You’re not going to be behind where your energy truly is. You’re far too powerful for that. Just keep taking the steps you need to take when you’re ready for them. Nothing that is truly yours can ever miss you, but you do need to allow yourself to be ready for it. Being ready feels like inner peace and strength, not fear and punishment. The quickest way to readiness is to be at one with where you are and enjoy the journey. It’s all okay.

Have a great week, dear one. You’re right on time.

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Intuitive-Tarot Reading

General Reading for August 20-26: A Better Direction

This week, there is an energy of, “Well, this is as bad as it gets.” Some people call it rock bottom, but we all know that there is an infinite ability for things to get worse. We have all proven, collectively, that–against all odds–it can get worse. In so many ways. But that is not what we are here to experience. So now that we know that, what is this week actually for?

This week is about you choosing to stop putting up with anything less than your greatest good. This is you saying, “I have decided that it will get better, because I’m ready to go in a better direction.”

The Universe is thrilled that you have decided to start going in a different direction. They loved and supported you before, of course, but they know you, and they know that you will find so much more enjoyment in chasing what could go right. This is a much better use of your time here in this body.

When you believe in your success, you act differently. You change your habits to reflect where you want to go, and you put eager effort into staying consistent. You dress for success. You pick up your feet instead of scuffing your heels. You have more enthusiasm and energy, even when dealing with frustration. Because you are focused on the progress, you see the problems as being smaller, so you treat them as minor inconveniences instead of signs of the times. Same problems, different response, therefore different outcome. It takes two to tango, after all.

There are reasons you got into a gloomy outlook, for sure. But as you heal, you remove those reasons from your present. The situation that started this pessimistic mindset you’re currently throwing off has passed. And if it hasn’t passed quite yet, it will because you’re removing it. You’re going to be okay.

Two weeks ago, the message was to take exhaustion off like a cloak. Exhaustion is a mindset. It doesn’t matter how much sleep you got if you dread getting up in the morning. You’re still going to feel tired. Not to say you shouldn’t sleep, and not to say getting enough sleep can’t help, but the most important factor in feeling refreshed is your mindset.

You don’t need evidence to change your mindset. There is so much evidence for every perspective that you can prove every perspective right–or wrong. So really, it just comes down to what you want to experience, and how you choose to get there.

Let yourself be happy. Let your life get better and better. You do deserve good things.

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Energy-Integrative Massage general information

What Is Energy-Integrated Massage?

Reiki and other energy medicine techniques are possible to do without touch. This is called distance work. Thanks to the properties of quantum physics, people and energies can interact without being physically touching, or even in the same place. Much like speaking on the telephone, bluetooth connections, or that intuitive feeling when you know that someone is thinking of you, distance healing connects people on an invisible frequency that can be accessed and sensed with the proper attunement and practice.

When I started practicing energy medicine, I learned the hands-off approach, as well as hands-on Reiki. However, while I enjoy working distance, I found that my skills were put to even better use when combined with massage techniques. I started self-study, based on what worked for me and my friends and family, and decided whole-heartedly to jump into massage school to learn even more. It was 100% worth doing.

Sometimes my client sessions follow traditional strokes, as in Swedish effleurage, petrissage, tapotement, compression, jostling, etc. And other times, they are more about holding space and being present with a past traumatic event. Breathwork, guided visualization, intuitive or angelic messages, and yes, the channeling of Reiki energy are integrated into working with the soft tissues of the body.

Because I have learned a wide variety of tools, and work with divine beings who use even more tools than I do, I have had the opportunity to work with an array of unique and fascinating challenges. I am equal parts excited to dive in, and empathetic towards the frustration, struggle, and pain involved with true healing. I love my work, and I love that feeling when relief finally arrives. There is nothing like going home after a successful session and knowing that I’m right where I’m supposed to be, doing what I was meant to do.

Integrating energy work and massage opens up a whole world of effective therapy. Separately, each modality has a powerful influence on healing, but together, they address the whole self on a deeper level. Book a session and see what I can do for you.